Why do we get so caught up in timelines? You need to go to college and have a job immediately after graduating. You need to be married, then buy a house, and then on your one year wedding anniversary, you should probably be pregnant by then too. Like, WHAT?!
I don't know about you but, I am not a traditional person by any means. I started dating, my now husband, at the age of 15, we then moved in to our own apartment when we were 20, engaged by 21 and married at 23! Most would say, or actually most do say, "Wow, you are so young, huh? Married at an early age." And you know what I usually say? "Yeah, I know it just worked for us." The more I think of that, the more I think why am I just brushing it off like no big deal just to keep the conversation from going anywhere. I am so proud of my marriage. I'm married to my soul mate and that is not something many people can say.
I. AM. TRULY. MARRIED. TO. MY. SOULMATE!
We have been through many challenges and adventures and milestones together, I can not wait to see where our next 50 years of marriage brings us.
So, with that being said, why do you feel like you need a timeline? Ask yourself that question and really think to yourself. Am I feeling this way because this is what my parents have encouraged my whole life and preached about? Would I be judged if I chose to take another path? Is this really what you see yourself doing for your career in the next 20 years at least? Is no one going to support you when you change their "normal"? Life is too damn short to be anything but happy with the decisions you choose to make for yourself. If family doesn't support you then what does that say about them? I know, it may be scary to step out of your comfort zone but, if it was easy there would be a lot more successful people in the world. I say successful because think of it if everyone decided to go for their ultimate dream, no matter what that meant, all fears aside and all judgement aside, everyone would choose to be exactly what they wanted to be and then everyone would be successful because they were ultimately doing what they love to do. That's not how our minds work though.
We believe in our mind that we need to follow our parents footsteps, continue the generations, follow what your friends are doing, follow what your teachers say about where you should be, what society thinks you should be doing with the rest of the world. It is only until just recently that I saw myself getting caught up in the "timelines." This is why I am so passionate about spreading the message of #NOTIMELINES.
If you are in a relationship or are married already, you can most likely relate to the question of "well, when are you getting married, you have been together for five years now" or "so, now that you are married, when are you having kids?" and while I get those are considered normal questions to most people, this generation doesn't always see it like that, and I'll explain why. So many of you have come to me explaining how important this message was because of the pressure they felt with the perfect job, getting married, having kids, buying a house, and just overall all those "big milestones" in your life. Which are all great by the way, and I am in no way saying not to do any of them but, what I am saying is that it does not matter what time those milestones happen in your life, all that matters is that you are happy with were you are in that very moment.
Most people don't have at least $50,000 in the bank for their dream wedding and that number is usually just the minimum. Nor, do they have a big enough down payment to put on their first home because in this day and age most houses are fixer upper's for the price you can afford. College? That is a whole other category of debt that most don't want! What I am trying to say is that just because these seem to be the norm, doesn't mean you have to allow someone else's timeline dictate yours. Stand up for what you believe in and what you know will work best for your life.
Congratulate your best friend on getting engaged, buying a house, getting a degree and make sure they do the same for any milestone you accomplish. Friends are suppose to support friends in both good and bad moments. From this point on, erase any thought of a timeline and start creating your own journey. You will only thank yourself in the end for standing up for what you believe in, Trust me, babe!
xo
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